I want to run away from it all. How do I escape?
How do I erase these images how do I erase these memories how how how how how how
I’m falling to bits and pieces. And it can’t be stopped.
I do all of these things like buy new clothes and shave my hair and try making friends and just… None of it works. Everything depends on him. I am completely hopeless and profoundly miserable.
It makes me feel like… Is all of this a mistake?
I’m just so tired… from everything. The physical pain I’ve been enduring, the huge weight of stress on my shoulders and this place of vulnerability where I am so easily reduced to tears from a mere picture. I can’t handle this anymore. I want more than anything to just be okay but I can’t seem to ever get to that point. Whenever I have it in my palm, close to being in my grasp, something happens that takes me 5 steps back. My procedure took me 5 steps backward, missing school for my health another 5, and this… Feeling ugly and unattractive and just…pathetic compared to this girl. This destroys me. Tonight— I don’t know how to last until tomorrow.