a lazy lady human interested in art, love, literature, sexuality, and puppies; a feminine woman who will still kick ur ass <3

" That’s what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is. Most people love you for who you pretend to be. To keep their love, you keep pretending - performing. You get to love your pretence. It’s true, we’re locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it, they feel like you’re trying to steal their most precious possession. "

I want to run away from it all. How do I escape?

" When you fall over there’s a tiny gap in time, between upright and the floor where you know you’re going to be face down in the gravel and there’s nothing you can do about it. To me that’s what crashing into a depressive state feels like. "

How do I erase these images how do I erase these memories how how how how how how

I’m falling to bits and pieces. And it can’t be stopped.

I do all of these things like buy new clothes and shave my hair and try making friends and just… None of it works. Everything depends on him. I am completely hopeless and profoundly miserable.

It makes me feel like… Is all of this a mistake?

I’m just so tired… from everything. The physical pain I’ve been enduring, the huge weight of stress on my shoulders and this place of vulnerability where I am so easily reduced to tears from a mere picture. I can’t handle this anymore. I want more than anything to just be okay but I can’t seem to ever get to that point. Whenever I have it in my palm, close to being in my grasp, something happens that takes me 5 steps back. My procedure took me 5 steps backward, missing school for my health another 5, and this… Feeling ugly and unattractive and just…pathetic compared to this girl. This destroys me. Tonight— I don’t know how to last until tomorrow.